Bina

Bina Atonement

Scene - Bina, (Orna's mother) is dying. She is like a second mother for Miriam, and also is the woman who has raised Miriam's own first child, Chaim, renamed Doron.

As Bina lays dying, each child comes to her side. She blesses them and comforts them, as always is her way. She is an ever-giving mother.

When Miriam comes to her turn, Miriam clearly wants to say something, starts, tries, and fails each of several attempts. As she has made each attempt, Miriam's eyes have darted across the house toward Doron.

Bina says, "I know, my dear darling." Miriam is quizzicle, and stares at Bina, searching for what this must mean. Yes, she knows. Tears well up in their eyes as they each see the depth of what has been held back in the other all these years. Their breath returns as they venture to speak again.

Miriam - "How..?"

Bina - "The ephod, the blanket, the bag... your needle is not to be mistaken."

Miriam breaks down into ravaging tears. All this time, she has borne this burden, and now, suddenly unleashed, it is a flood of trembling confusion and relief, yet still, no one must know. But yet at least one person does know and can penetrate Miriam's barricaded defenses. At long last, someone knows! And her sweet Bina of course, is the one to be there giving such comfort, even now as she is dying.

Bina - "For you, he was a dear love but a deadly burden. For us, he is a gift from God. Our Lord provided for us - a great man, a son, a leader for our faith, and a gift of love. God uses all things for His purposes for them that trust the Lord. I am sure you did pray on this; we did. God has made us all whole."

As Miriam must go, she longs for Bina's warm acceptance, her faith, her answers, her province of freedom in truth - that will die along with her, and the secret she keeps yet still to her grave.

Miriam is freed, heavily grieved, and touched. She wants more, but is profoundly shaken by all that has happened and what this must mean, about truth, forgiveness, and restoration. Where does it come from? Where can she become whole and clean?

Now, Miriam does not know why, but something is different in her. She will think many times about Bina, visiting her in reminiscences to come, and this truthful free place. It will soften her heartache. Yet still, Miriam ventures to find her secret's expression and a resolution in her atonement and solace-seeking in her faith. She seems to progress in fits and starts along these mixed avenues of consolation: the traditions of her faith, her memories with Bina, and the teachings of the Messianic church, which she catches in glimpses from Bina's family and her dear Doron.

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