Atonement
|
|
|
|
Scene - The bedchamber after the wedding
Yaacov and Miriam enter their bedroom. The new husband wants to kiss. Miriam loves him and hesitantly participates. We are not sure if it is her culture's very private treatment of affection, her inexperience, or something more personal, perhaps troubling in her hesitation and awkwardness. Yaacov heads toward the bed. Miriam must change her clothes, out of the extravagant outfit she wears. She goes to the alcove, a mirror is there. In its burnished brass, by the dim oil lamp she carries, she looks at herself. She relates to her own feelings at this time. As she begins to carefully take off her outfit, she remembers the lovely evening, the wedding, the stolen kiss, her gallant husband. She smiles and swoons for him. She continues to undress. As her shoulders begin to be revealed, she re-hears the evening's words - her husband's acclaim for her virtue. She darkens with shame. She looks into the mirror plate, she sees her shoulder bruised as it was when she was raped. She looks into her own eyes to understand what she is seeing; they are blackened from the assault. She tests her face with her fingers, and continues to see her bruised and defiled state. Tears come to her eyes. She is caught-captured in her flashback. She feels ashamed of her dirty body, and clings to her garments to cover herself. We hear Yaacov call from the bed for her to come along. She hyperventilates, wrenches, and fights off the urges to run, throw up, double over in hysterical crying - we feel this tension with her. She finally catches her own eye in the mirror plate and determinedly calls out to God. "God, I am a wife!" She declares, demanding God's assistance. She pulls herself together and makes herself finish dressing. She puts her wedding shawl around her, knowing it should be lovely, but she clutches it in fearful shame across her shoulders. She walks into the bed area and slips onto the bed. The music is tense and her face and arms reveal the desperation of her moment of realization - fulfillment of their marriage and revealing of her defiling. Finally she looks over to Yaacov. The music pauses... We hear him snore. With all the drink, he has fallen asleep. We laugh in anxious relief, almost ashamed of ourselves to be so irreverent to her moment of truth. Miriam pauses when she hears he is asleep. She is relieved, but then realizes she still must be a wife, if not tonight, the next and all the following. She talks with God, this time, not demanding. "God, Rabbi Jesus said you are all around us and he is your son. Miriam looks around, searching. Rabbi Jesus - Bina says you are alive still and that we can pray to you. I need to be a wife and let those things that came before be gone from my body and this bed. I saw you heal, Rabbi - Can you heal me? I need God's healing and blessing here." Miriam places her hand at the top of her chest under her neck and lowers her chin against it, clinching her determination to accept this blessing. Her eyes open, she seems more relaxed. She lovingly looks over at Yaacov. Tentatively, she reaches over to touch his shoulder, his face. She carefully outlines his facial features and yearns to love him completely. She is careful, scared, moving fitfully but gracefully through the touching, like a climber crossing a raging ravine on a rope bridge. Miriam takes Yaacov's hand and places it on the same spot she put her own hand when she finished her prayer. At first she is icy and uncomfortable, but she looks at him, his eyes. She leaves his hand there under hers, as she explores more of his outline with her other hand. She gains confidence and her love wins the battle against her past. She finally surrenders to a full embrace of Yaacov. It is a non-sexual comforting embrace, but we know she will be accessible completely to him after this.
. |
|
ALL MATERIAL is COPYRIGHT
© 2007 DJ Reed
Warner of Littleton, New Hampshire, USA |
